Gardening

Last Saturday was one of the nicest weather days we've had here in North Dakota. Granted, we've only had three nice weather days so far, so it's not like it had a lot of competition. I decided to take advantage of the sunshine and temperatures, though, and get some weeding done alongside the garage.

We have a planter on the south side of our garage that's home to a row of hostas. Last year, since I was a new mom and rarely left the nursery, let alone the house, it went completely neglected and when I gazed from the kitchen window, all I could see were weeds. Lots and lots of weeds. Before we got too far along in the season this year, I decided I would get a head start and clean the planter of unwanted plant life.

First of all let me say that my butt was so beyond sore - I may make weeding a part of a regular workout regimen. Bending, squatting, kneeling, and bracing yourself to pull those buggers out of the ground gives the old rump-a-roo a run for it's money. I had no idea I would be toning anything other than my arms. Buns Of Steel ain't got nothin' on pulling weeds.

I had Haley outside with me so we could both enjoy the sunshine and I could keep an eye on her while her daddy napped inside - he was sick and trying to get over whatever bug had a hold of him. As I was weeding, I was struck by the life lessons that parallel weeds. I glanced over at Haley and hoped I could remember these when she's old enough to understand, so I can relay them to her creatively. I'll share what I learned and hope it makes as much sense in your world as it did in mine.

The first thing I noticed when I got down and dirty, was a worm. Then four worms. Then an entire planter full of worms. I have an aversion to anything with more than four legs - everyone knows this. No matter if it's a spider, moth, dead or alive - I loathe and detest anything with more than four legs. I don't want it to touch me, see me, come near me - anything. I make this fact known to said creature by screaming or running away flailing any and all movable limbs in an attempt to escape it's evil presence. Worms have no legs - however, they have roughly the same effect on me. They don't scare me as much as something that can walk or fly, but they do gross me out. I tried to think happy thoughts and thank them for enriching the soil so my hostas could flourish.....and I managed to do so without being too grossed out. Thank heavens for gloves and gardening spades.

Second - weeds were everywhere. Once I got down to their level, they just kept appearing. I wouldn't see all of them at first until I really looked, and could see them sprouting up here, there, and everywhere. At first glance, it didn't look like there were all that many and I would be done in no time. Once I got going, though, I realized it was going to take a lot longer than I originally anticipated.

Weeds are something you have to stay on top of. The moment you think you can let them go unattended, they take total control. They take over. They overwhelm their space and completely dominate over any and all other life.

Weeds are also very deceiving. Some of them take on the appearance of harmless, pretty plants. In reality, though, they're noxious weeds with one agenda. Be the sole survivor. Ruin the resources, aspirations, and successes of everything in it's path.

The roots of weeds are just about ridiculous. Some of them go on forever - down to the core of the earth almost. Others branch out and spring up new weeds from their random shoots. It becomes an intricate, tangled system. Of course if you don't pull out the entire root, the weed will repair itself and grow back. More often than not, you will break the root - or in some cases not get the root at all, and only remove the part of the weed above the ground's surface. Some roots you'll never be able to pull out completely - it's a constant chore to keep the ground maintained so you can prevent as much of the weed's growth as possible.

How that parallels life is this:

Sometimes you have to have yucky things (worms) in order to improve upon and benefit from what life hands you. It won't always be pretty, but in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

All is not what it seems. Especially when it comes to trouble. Sure you may think you'll be able to get away with it - it'll just be one time, only a little bit, no one will tell the difference....but once you start, that trouble seems to multiply. More and more issues pop up before your very eyes. You won't see the big picture the first time, and when you think you've covered all your bases, you're wrong. "His eyes are on the ways of mortals - he sees their every step." (Job 34:21)

If you're focused on the wrong things in life, they'll consume you. It's up to you, the things you deem important, but if you base those importances materialistically, the unimportant things will weasel their way in to the urgency of your day to day living. Your happiness will escape you because you'll work too hard to hold on to the things that give you no fulfillment. They're everywhere, and it's easier to fall in to their snare than to avoid them. (Jeremiah 50:33)

Don't judge a book by it's cover, as the saying goes. Sometimes when something looks innocent and harmless, it deserves a second glance. And a third. And a fourth. Unfortunately we live in a day and age where the father-of-lies has hold of far too many who make their way through life via deception and dishonesty. (John 8:44)

You won't be able to fight it all, avoid it all, or conquer it all. Sometimes the problems have roots that are far beyond our capabilities to destroy. The trick is to keep plucking away at what doesn't belong, and allow truth and beauty to grow and prosper. What doesn't kill us may make us stronger, but it doesn't mean we won't ever get tired of fighting the same battles. Even as we tire - we must remember sometimes the battle isn't ours to fight. Be persistent, be consistent, be firm in what you believe. The stronger you stand your ground, the less ground the "weeds" have to take root in. (2 Chronicles 20:17)

And last, and most likely least - stretch before you garden. It may save you from suffering from, as my college instructor called it, "DOMS". Delayed onset muscle soreness. In your bum.

Full Circle

This morning, Haley and I headed to the March of Dimes March For Babies. Brent is tucked away with the guys, reveling in the draft and the soap opera that is the NFL. It was just Haley and I and I was not sure of what to expect. There were a few hundred people, all in support of an organization that helped me maintain my sanity just over one year ago. I was flustered upon arriving as I was a whopping three minutes later than I intended to be, since I had to turn around and retrieve the stroller from the garage once I realized I had forgotten it. I signed us in, entered the arena, and the official countdown began. Three miles. Three....two....one.

I was walking with a team of people from Brent's work. Actually, I was registered with them, but I took off walking on my own. I saw various groups of people, and just about every group had matching shirts of some kind. The walls were laden with pictures and posters of premature babies, and teams were walking "in memory of" preemies who never got to leave the NICU. As I was walking around, pushing Haley in the stroller, I started to feel overcome with emotion. I know - big surprise, Val got emotional - but it was so.....surreal.

Just over one year ago, Collette came in to my hospital room and introduced herself and told me she was with the March of Dimes. She was compassionate, understanding, and approachable. She told me what was up ahead, and how she was going to be there to help. She brought me a sandwich from Subway, and I ate cucumbers for the first time in my 29 years of life. Three days later, Haley was born two months premature. See if I eat cucumbers again. (I kid, I kid....)

As I was walking around the arena, a head of hair caught my attention - and I recognized it belonging to one of the NICU nurses from Innovis. Right behind her was another nurse, and right alongside her was Dr. J. Haley's neonatologist. I choked back tears. I remembered meeting him for the first time in the operating room, as he explained what they had to do as they whisked Haley out of my sight and in to the NICU. He spoke slowly and sympathetically, as I cried laying on the operating table. He asked Brent if he wanted to go with him, but I needed Brent to stay with me...they just took my baby, I couldn't be without my husband too.

As I walked around the arena, it was as if I was walking in a dream, and the reality was reliving the experience of delivering Haley prematurely. I didn't see Dr. J in his jeans and jacket, I saw him in his white hospital coat. I saw the nurses in their scrubs. I saw Haley in her isolette instead of in front of me in her stroller.

As I glanced around, trying to get a grip, I saw so many children, and overheard so many conversations. "She was 6 weeks premature." "These quads were born at 24 weeks and 2 days." "It's been three years, and we miss him every day."

The three miles were done. I started towards the door, and Dr. J was standing right before me. He recognized me and said hello, tickled Haley, and asked how she was doing. I told him she was 13 months now, but the woman from Right Track had her meeting 14 month milestones (and her adjusted age is 11 months, so she's way ahead of her time!). He was excited to see her and hear of her progress. I flashed back to the day in NICU when he was explaining her intravenous feeding and the nutrients that were in the bag. He joked, "This is food just like you and I eat. Burger King, McDonalds, just in liquid form."

I walked out to the car and put Haley in her car seat - still rear-facing, since she's not even 20 pounds yet. (17.5 according to our scale calculations at home...) I loaded the stroller in the back, and then settled myself in behind the steering wheel. That's about when I lost it.

I can't really explain or describe how I still carry the whole experience with me. How I still wonder what real labor is like. How I still remember Lois, the nurse, coming in and telling me it was time. How my stomach started spasming once they made the first incision. How the nurses came in my room to tell me how beautiful Haley was. How Collette sat with me at Haley's isolette for an hour one day, just being a friend. How I marvel at the miracle Haley is, and how grateful I am she avoided any and all complications post-delivery. I can't express what it feels like to hold a 17 pound baby, while remembering her 2 pound, 12 ounce frame. Wondering when her eyebrows were going to grow in. Wondering if she would ever nurse. Wondering if she was going to be okay once we brought her home. Tensing up before every pediatric or preemie clinic appointment for fear they were going to tell me some sort of bad news.

And there we were, walking in that arena, in support of the group that was there to support me. For thanks to Collette. For thanks to the Innovis NICU. For hope that all the other babies born prematurely can have as good or better an outcome as Haley. For thanks to God that he chose to work a miracle in my baby's life. For me to have one more thing to be emotional about. :o)

As I drove away, along with trying to hide the fact I was crying for fear someone would see me in the minivan and think "That soccer Mom has done gone and lost it.....", I felt a sense of closure. A chapter in our lives is coming to an end, and it's time to start writing the rest of the story.

Stay tuned.

My Morning Workout

How could you not love a God who has a crazy sense of humor, and a creative talent for grabbing your attention?

This morning started differently than other mornings. First of all, it’s trash and recycling day, which for some reason always makes me anxious. I just want to make sure Brent takes everything to the curb so I don’t have to. I had a bad experience once, where the garbage can rolled away from me….I slid…..I’m pretty much scarred for life. My tailbone hurts just thinking about it. Along with that, though, Brent woke up super early to attend the Bible study that meets at 6:30 on Wednesday mornings. This 1) makes me so proud and honored to have married such a God-fearing husband and 2) means I am flying solo in getting myself and Haley ready for the day.

I sauntered out to the kitchen at about 6:30 after finally rolling out of bed. I’ve been called a lot of things and “morning person” has never been one of them. It takes me about three hours to wake up, and that’s only after I’ve had the required 10 hours of sleep. It makes for some interesting days. I walked over to the coffee pot and noticed the clock wasn’t greeting me with the time.

Hmmm. I blinked, because surely it was just the fact I'm nearly blind without my glasses that I couldn't see the clock. Blinking didn't fix it.

I pushed a few buttons. Nothing. I pushed different buttons, and harder. It was plugged in – I unplugged and replugged. Nothing.

No. Oh man, no coffee?! Oh man…

I stood, dazed, and in slow motion reached behind me to open the fridge. Please don’t let this be what I think it is. Please don’t let this be what I think it is. Please don’t let this be what I think it is. I opened the fridge door – and – no light. Nothing. Our outlets on this one circuit of our kitchen decided to take the day off. I know Brent had been in the fridge, and the air was still cool, so this is something that had to have happened within the previous thirty minutes.

I tried to gather my thoughts and figure out the best way to fix the situation. First I texted my husband what was going on and ended with "I don't know what to do." Those are always the most encouraging "Good morning!" texts you can send your spouse. You heard it here first.

I then went down to the basement and checked our circuit breakers. Every one of them was in-tact. I decided they obviously must NOT be in-tact, and I should reset the kitchen ones just to be sure. Still no working fridge. Still no brewing coffee. I pushed the reset button – several times – on the outlet the coffee maker plugs in to. Nothing. I did the only logical thing left to do at that point. I pulled the fridge out from the wall and moved it to the opposite side of the kitchen. By myself. I crawled over the table, I crawled under the table, I lifted chairs out of the way, I played Superwoman, and I played her well. I didn’t have time to mess with the situation, and I needed to plug the fridge in to an outlet that worked so we wouldn’t lose all of our perishable items, and so the items that have already perished, could stay chilled and not stink up my kitchen. Not saying I have things like that in my fridge.....but it's always a possibility.

I went about getting ready for work and getting Haley ready for the sitter. I texted my dad a photo of the fridge in it’s temporary new home and he was of course texting me with fatherly instructions to check the breaker box and reset the GFI outlet. I love that I thought to do those things first. I don’t love that after knowing me for 30 years, Dad doesn’t think he taught me well enough to think to do those things first.

I was able to get myself together and get a few snuggles in before heading out the door. I dropped Haley off at the sitter’s and made it on time to my work meeting this morning. Just another day at the office.

I went home at lunch and looked at the empty spot where the fridge normally is. The paint is scorched on the wall, so we obviously have it too close to the back wall. I glanced down at the floor, and quickly wished I hadn’t. The floor. Was. Disgusting. Dust, dirt, hair, food, filth. I grabbed the broom, the Swiffer, and the bottle of Whistle and got to work. Once I had the area cleaned up, I went back to the GFI outlet and pushed the reset button again – to test my (in)sanity.

Power. The coffee maker clock started blinking. And you wouldn’t work for me earlier when I did this, because…..?

“Because you needed to clean your kitchen floor, dust off your refrigerator, and take care of the potential hazard. Plus, I wanted you to check in with me for some energy instead of your coffee cup.”

Oh! Well! Of course!

I don’t know how often you’re supposed to dust underneath, behind, and around your refrigerator, but after today, I’m almost positive you’re supposed to do it more often than never. Lesson learned.

I also found it interesting - and humorous - how dependent I am on a few appliances. The fridge, yeah, that's a given. But my beloved coffee pot. I love it, because it gives me warmth and comfort with which to start my day. But you know what else could fill that need on a deeper level? Starting my day in the arms of my Maker, and in the pages of His love letter to me. Lesson learned.

I believe God tests us and I believe today was a test of how I handle myself when things feel out of my control. I'm not sure I passed with flying colors (Brent pointed out we have extension cords...yeah, well, they don't make for upper body strength testing, sweetheart....) but I appreciate I was able to not stress out about the situation, and handle it with the humored spirit that enveloped me today.

Plus, I found a coupon for a free appetizer at LoneStar Steakhouse. Too bad it expired in July of 2009....