Watching Over Me

I've just put laundry away, which is my least favorite household chore. I love washing and drying, and even folding. I'm very particular about how things are folded, and I become easily agitated if Brent folds something differently than I would have. Putting it away, however, is brutal. I would much rather live out of laundry baskets full of neatly folded clothes. I have always been this way. Brent can't stand it. So because I love him, once in a while I put my clothes away. Tonight was one of those once in a whiles.

While doing so, I was listening to The Canadian Tenors (who I've recently discovered dropped "Canadian" from their name...?). There was a song I've heard a dozen or more times, but when I heard it tonight, it really struck me. The song is "Watching Over Me."  Before I post it here, allow me to explain where I stand on a few things.

I've written before about lies believers believe. In addition to those, I also don't believe Harlynn is an "angel". Not in the biblical sense. I believe she is an angel of sorts in my eyes - she was and always will be perfect, innocent, and my little angel. But I do not believe she is a literal angel in heaven. She may even have wings, but I believe the Bible is very specific about angels, humans, and the souls resting in eternity, and I believe there is a distinct difference.  

I hope that makes sense.

I'm not sure if Harlynn ever gets a window from Heaven. I'm not sure if she knows what we look like, how often we go to talk to her at her resting place, or if she'll ever see us seated 'round our dinner table. I believe in my heart of hearts, however, that she somehow knows who we are, how much love we have for her, and that she looks forward as much as we do to the day we can be united in joy.

All that said for probably no point at all. But I wanted you to know it before I posted the song. I'm not sure why it struck me tonight - but it gave me such peace. Not just because the song is beautiful, but because I do believe there will always be an inexplicable connection between the life that goes on around us, and how it represents my love and relationship with Harlynn. The beauty of the sunsets, the song of a bird, the warmth of the sun upon my face - sometimes these simple things that happen all the time - make me feel incredibly close to my daughter.

I'm not asking you to understand it. I'm only asking you take me at my word for what it means to me.

It just so happens the first video I found of the song was put together by another set of loss parents. The song spoke to them as well.

The pure, the bright, the beautiful that stirred our hearts in you
The whisper of a wordless prayers; the streams of love and truth
A longing after something lost
The spirit's yearning cry
Striving after the better hopes; these things can never die

There will always be the shining sun
There will always be the rising of the sea
There will always be an angel watching over me
There will always be an angel watching over me

A timid hand stretched forth to aide a brother in his need
A kindly word in grief's dark hour that proves a friend indeed
So shall a light that cannot fade leave on thee from on high
And angel voices say to thee, these things shall never die

There will always be the shining sun
There will always be the rising of the sea
There will always be an angel watching over me
There will always be an angel watching over me

There will always be the shining sun
There will always be the ocean's rise and fall
There will always be an angel watching over me
There will always be an angel watching over all

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