To say it's been a crazy week would be a bit of an understatement.
About 3:00 on Sunday, my husband and I randomly came to the conclusion we were going to get our home ready to list by the end of the week. Through more random (though, obviously divinely appointed) events, we ended up showing the house and accepting an offer by Wednesday of this week, without ever having listed. Now, we're up against a six-week timeline to find somewhere to live while we bide our time in scoping out a new home to purchase.
Yes. In a matter of 72 hours, we went from staying put to sold.
I "vlogged" (can there be a better word for this, please?) about it.
We hustled this week in so many ways, going so many different directions, and all while trying to figure out what in the world was going on. But it was awesome. Then I couldn't sleep. For three nights in a row. Then I kept forgetting to eat until I was ravenously hungry, grabbing the quickest things I could shove in my mouth. It was starting to get a little trying.
By Friday, Little Man started to act not at all like himself, and developed a fever. Now he's been crabby, clingy, and crying. We're not sure if he's ill or teething, but he's a pitiful little dude for sure, and it's heartbreaking to see him so miserable.
Brent was gone for a while Saturday morning and again in the afternoon. After the events of the week, and the emotional toll of everything taking place in such short order, I was spent. Absolutely spent. At one point just before dinner, I had finished feeding Little Man, sat at the table, put my head in my hands and cried. Sometimes you just have to cry a little bit. It was only a minute or less, and when I pulled my hands away from my face, Little Man was staring right at me and began to smile his big, toothless grin. He thought I was playing peek-a-boo. I had covered my face, after all, so naturally it was time to play.
I giggled. Oh child. Peek-a-boo.
The truth of the matter is, I can only harbor so much excitement or disappointment before I just start to lose it. I love what has transpired this week, I love that we get to start a new chapter in our lives, and I love that we'll be selling this house and hopefully finding one that will be even more awesome and special to us than this one has been. But it all happened so fast, so unexpectedly, and by dinner time Saturday, I was feeling worn out by it all.
Then! Then, by feeling worn out by it all, I felt guilty. Like I somehow couldn't handle being blessed. So I should just stick my head in the sand and not deal with it, because obviously I can't deal with it, and I don't deserve to even have it to deal with!
Do you see what's happening here? There is one who will never be happy with your successes. Never be happy with your accomplishments. Your blessings. Your miracles. Your answered prayers. And when there's even a hint of opportunity to destroy you, he runs with it. He ran with it for me.
Don't let him steal your joy. Your momentum. Your faith. Give him an inch, and he'll take your whole life. Take it back.
I am completely bewildered by the fact that we have to find a place to live, pack up, and move there, in six weeks time. (By the way, if you'd pray for us in this regard specifically, we would be so appreciative.) But I'm not hopeless. I'm not scared. I'm not fearful or worried about any of the details. It's a lot, but it's fantastic. It's stressful, but for such a greater outcome. This is an incredible answer to a prayer we've prayed a long time.
I might cry again before this is all said and done. I'd put money on it. I'm a crier, after all. Regardless, I'm not going to hide behind my tears. Not in this. There will be tears of joy and anticipation mixed in with any of sorrow or nostalgia. Moving, from a home we've experienced so much of life in, will be a big event for us. I plan to face it head-on, and watch to see what's next. No, I'm not going to hide behind my tears.
I may hide behind my hands....but only because that's how one goes about playing peek-a-boo. And I see you, friend. Whatever you're up against, whatever kind of week you had, I see you. And I get it. And we're gonna go through this next one together, without giving the father-of-lies any room to wiggle in our psyche.