3.23.10

My first 2:00 a.m. feeding. So I'm awake now, and thought I would try to give another update.

Every hour that goes by, I am noticing a marked improvement in my health and am surprised at how sick I really was. I had no idea how sick I was, until I realized later how much better I feel now. Sometimes weird things happen in pregnancy. Mine was fine - textbook - until about a month ago, when things started to turn. I'm even more surprised, though, with how strong our little girl is. We got to witness her bath time (which she is not a fan of), and she was trying to stand! No kidding! It was the coolest, most amazing thing. She is one tough little cookie.

Hearing her fuss and cry is just the sweetest thing. She's a little squeaker. Barely audible, but full of purpose. Her eyes are so big, and she just looks around, taking everything in. She can't see but for an inch or two in front of her, but that doesn't inhibit her curiosity. I've found myself lost in those eyes already.

We had lots of visitors yesterday, and Brent was the cutest proud father I've ever seen, passing out chocolate cigars. We got to show her off through the nursery window to several people. In between visitors, I had to pump - which is an entirely different life experience all together. The great news is, I have been able to fuel Haley's tummy as a result! She gets 3 mils of colostrum every 3 hours. And I get to sit in my room and panic every time I hear a knock on the door - for fear a non-nurse individual is going to walk in and see the not-so-glamorous sight of surgery-recovering Val trying to pump as modestly as possible. Which is another lesson I've learned about this whole birthing thing - there is no more modesty.

Brent got to hold - as in actually cuddle and cradle - his baby girl for the first time yesterday. Prior to that he'd only been able to touch her. Seeing my husband hold his teeny daughter in his arms is just the most beautiful thing I can think to see. The look on his face when he held her for the first time is something I hope I never forget. He is going to be one heck of a daddy. Which is not at all surprising, considering how fantastic of a husband he is.

I had my first kangaroo care snuggle session with Haley. They propped her right in my shirt, directly against my skin. It was magic. I cannot even tell you. Feeling her little hand squeeze my neck, feeling her breathe against me, knowing that she very well knew she was in her mommy's care for that moment - I cried twice. I did I'm not gonna lie. But honestly, the fact that I cry all the time over everything should really no longer be a surprise to anyone.

She has only dropped 3/4 of an oz in weight thus far. She's kept all of her food in, she did fantastic when they administered her picc line, and she fussed (by literally putting her foot down!) to protest bath time. She's peed, she's pooped, and she's just been a little firecracker. The diapers they use - oh my goodness. So small! And it's still too big for her! I am going to take one home and put it in her baby book - a fresh one, of course, not used.

God has blessed Brent and me in ways that we cannot even comprehend. We are still reeling from this entire experience, and from the outpouring of love and support we've received from everyone - even people we don't know! We weren't expecting a March baby. We weren't expecting a medically urgent cesarean delivery. We weren't expecting any of this. But more so, we forgot to expect that regardless of any event, God would still be in control. The evidence of His hand and His care and His provision is enough to just humble me to a pile of unworthiness! He has "delivered" this family in ways that only He could do. Every time I see my little Haley, I just stop to think, "Thank you, God, that you would care enough for us to bless us in this way."