When the sun doesn't shine, I tend to get a little weather-depressed. I realized today, though, it's not the lack of sunshine that depresses me, it's the threat of rain. Just the threat. If it rains, I'm okay with that. But when it merely threatens, I find my mood to be as dull as the clouds, and about as heavy. Either rain or shine, but don't just hang there, looming your gloom.
This morning started out with some sunshine. I love waking up to the bright light of the sun. It's reassuring and comforting. As the day went on, the sky started to turn gray. Ugh. There's the threat. I hate it. The clouds just hang over you, being non productive, and taunting your plans. "Come and play. I might rain, I might not, but I'll enjoy tormenting you just the same."
Earlier this afternoon we started to get a light rain. A soft, gentle, but steady rainfall. I felt a sense of relief as I saw the rain falling. At least the weather was doing something. I opened the front door and hung out of the screen door - just listening to the light tapping of the raindrops as they hit our ash tree out front, and watching the splat as it hit the driveway. The neighbor's roof had dry spots yet, and I turned my head to the living room to tell Brent to mute the television. I just wanted to hear the rain. The quiet reassurance of productivity. No more threat, only promise now.
I showered and cracked the window open in the bathroom so I could still hear the thunder. As I finished up and headed upstairs, I rounded the corner and saw my sty of a bedroom. Do you ever get that immediate wave of frustration? It hit me - hard - as I stared at the laundry and unmade bed. UGH. Sometimes when one little thing gets me frustrated, I get another wave - of everything that's ever frustrated me. I sat down on the bed and thought, "God - why are we such slobs? What is the purpose of all this stuff, and this huge mess, and what's the meaning of life, and.....This is one of those times where I could really use that whole direct line of communication thing..."
"No seriously. I need to know it's you, and I need to know what I'm supposed to do to get over these bumps in my road."
Really loud thunder.
"Oh. Hi there. I'm listening."
The rain - and thunder - started to intensify. I opened the windows and shut off the lights in the house so I could hear, and see, what the storm had in store. I love watching the raindrops splatter once they hit a surface. I love listening to the plickity plunk as it hits the window, and the tapping as it hits the pavement or concrete. I love watching it fall, straight down, with purpose. I love the smell of the outside when it's all wet. I love hearing the thunder and being reminded of the power in a storm. And in the one who created them. I love knowing that it will end, and when it does, there will most likely be a rainbow. Beauty all over again.
I hate the mere threat, and the loom and gloom of the possibility of a storm.
When the sun is shining and the weather is fair, I don't have a thing to worry about. I can go on about my business and live care-free. Fun in the sun. I tend to be more upbeat, more relaxed, and a tad silly. All in fun. When there's a storm and I'm in the middle of it, I can react accordingly, take care of whatever needs tended to, and power through until the storm subsides. I can hunker down and steer my survival mode to salvage whatever resources are necessary.
When the sky is gloomy, and merely threatening to storm, it's incredibly daunting. How bad of a storm will it be? Will it storm at all? Do I need to prepare? What could I have done, what haven't I done, and what won't I do? When will it start, and when will it end? I'm just waiting. Sitting and waiting. And for what, I'm not sure.
Whether the sun shines, or the rain falls...whether it's the gloominess of anything in between, I know my needs, my cares, my frustrations - they're all being taken care of by God. No matter the weather - in storms of life, or clear, sunny days - I'm cared for. No amount of frustration, responsibility, failures or accomplishments will stand in the way. No cloudy sky can separate me from the love of Christ. And even if the weather does change the course of my day - or my life - every storm will end. When it threatens to storm, and when I start to feel that eerie sense of defeat or doubt, I can rest assured know that Christ has already overcome. Every storm and every threat is already overcome.
Hallelujah, and amen.