Much to my husband's chagrin, I've made an art out of being the navigator in the vehicle. If he doesn't slow down soon enough, or pass someone fast enough, or if he doesn't drive like he's going to turn where we need to turn, or when he does something remotely different from how I would, he hears about it. "Babe..." is how it usually starts. If it's more serious or pressing, he'll get the frantic, "HONEY!" or if there's no hope for the situation at all, I'll gasp loudly as I clutch the dashboard. There are also desperate times when I cover my face in hopes other people won't see or recognize me in an effort to disassociate myself from his driving decisions. It's a real treat to ride with me. Just ask him.
When I was an inexperienced driver, I wrecked. A couple times. Like, five. Dad always says, "Yeah, but how many cars did you wreck in those five times?" Well...ten. But really, who's counting? It was a long time ago, and I've learned a lot and let me tell you - in inclement weather, there's no one you'd rather be riding with. I've got it down now. Due to my previous experiences, however, I tend to get a little antsy when I'm not the one in the driver's seat. I still get physically uncomfortable on gravel roads. If I'm in the driver's seat, at least I know I'm the one to blame if things ever go awry. If anyone else is in the driver's seat and something happens, who's to say it wouldn't have been avoided had I been driving?
I'm a control freak. I know where I want to go, I know how I want to get there, just let me drive. If you don't let me drive, expect me to navigate for you from the passenger seat. Determinedly.
The problem is, I cannot say I have surrendered my heart to Christ if I insist on staying in the driver's seat. If I claim Him as Lord of my life, I have to actually let Him be Lord of my life. Huh. Fancy that.
He may take some roads I don't want to take. He may drive a little faster or a little slower than I would. He may lead me around horrible turns. The ride, however, would go much smoother if I quit trying to reach over and yank the wheel from Him. If I quit wrestling, quit insisting I know better, quit fighting against the One who is for me, the ride will go so much better. It won't be without incident. It won't be without detours. It won't be without jams in which I would have to sit and wait it out. I also won't wreck five times, with ten cars. I won't put myself in harm's way. I won't get lost.
I won't get lost.
I might not always like the road. Or the scenery. Or relinquishing control. But when I arrive at my destination, it will have been the most beautiful journey I could have embarked on.
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