WE DID IT!! Picture me saying that in my excited nerd way. First of all, thank you to all you die-hards who read every single post of mine. You're as insane as I am, and I love you. Group hug!
Now that I'm not "challenged" to publish a blog post every day, I can get back to crazy. There have been things neglected in this time as I have purposely carved out time each day to write. There's laundry that needs washing, folding, and put away. I'm pretty good with the washing and folding part. It's the putting away that proves a lifetime struggle. There are floors that need cleaned, and I pray no one looks at them when they come over. Gracious me, what a mess. There is clutter that needs to be cleaned out. Clothes that need organized. Work space that needs a little face lift. Menus that need planned. And a very special Little Miss who has patiently allowed me time each day to hammer words out on a keyboard as she snuggles and holds me accountable to my time limit, who needs some Chutes and Ladders time.
The picture above was from our family photo night. Our photographer, the one and only Michelle Warren, told Little Miss to give Mommy a hug. Little Miss hugged very tightly and actually crunched my throat. It was uncomfortable, I made a face, and Michelle clicked the camera. I love it because everything about that picture is so true to life. The kids are adorable. Little Miss is being sweet and snuggly. Little Man is gnawing on his fingers. Always gnawing on his fingers. Harlynn is still a very present part of our lives. Brent is too suspicious to smile. And I am choking on love. Ha! I'm making a face, because I always make a face. Why do I always make a face?
Our life is crazy, and if you had told me ten years ago this is what my life would be, I probably would have flipped you the bird and told you how wrong you were. Thankfully, I've grown a lot in ten years, and I've stopped flipping people the bird and immediately launching in to why they're wrong. Now, though, I have an idea for another blog post. Oooh, day 32!! Not really...I'm so taking a break! But stay tuned, because it's coming. Anyway. Circling back. I never imagined this would be my life. Married to a rock-star-saint of a husband, giving birth to three children, only being able to keep two of them, living in North Dakota, and sorting out life as a bereaved mother. Never imagined.
There are good days, there are bad days, there are middle-of-the-road days, and there are extremes of all of them. All of them have their own element of crazy. I can tell you this, and it should come as no surprise: I am a mess. But in this mess, God has done some amazing work, and written some amazing stories. If you don't know Him, or if you aren't sure if you know Him like you think you should, let Him meet you in your crazy right now. Let Him help you sort it out. I can tell you I'd be a lot crazier without Him.
The other night, I was trying to hurry and get dinner ready before a hearing specialist made a home visit for Little Man. Little Miss had heard me singing "I Surrender All" earlier and had asked to hear the song. In searching for it on Spotify, it pulled up this song. As it played, Little Miss was dancing ballet underfoot as I was cooking. I set my pots and pans down, grabbed her hand, and danced along. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle, you just have to dance in the middle of cooking dinner and expecting company. They all can wait, but these moments are so fleeting. She won't always be four. She won't always want to dance with her mama. She won't always want to listen to some good ol' gospel music. Take advantage of the crazy moments. Don't let another moment without knowing Him pass you by. It's worth it. I promise.